Computers as portrayed in movies
25 interesting things that you learn about computers in the movies...
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
- All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or
some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based
command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
- Corollary You can gain access to any information you want by
simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
- Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by
simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.
- All computers are connected. You can access the information on
the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the
screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.
- All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just
underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)
- People typing away on a computer will turn it off without
saving the data.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world
before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will
be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
- If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the
file,it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.
- If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked
for a password when you try to access it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable
by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has.
However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
- Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY- MP.
- Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright
that it projects itself onto his/her face.
- Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities.
Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
- Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow
- Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it.
You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to.
Example: What's that fuzzy thing in the corner?
I don't know, let's check.
It's the murder weapon!
Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...
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